Who’s walking you down the aisle? Have you stopped to think where that tradition comes from? Much of the romanticism around it comes from Hollywood rather than ancient tradition.
Because the antecedents for this aren’t spectacular. Unfortunately, today’s weddings in the United States are still anchored in ancient property contracts. The questions: “who gives this bride?” followed by “does anyone object?” derive directly from those contracts. You might want to consider another way to approach the family questions, since property ownership and right of transference seem a little outmoded for today’s weddings.
It is for that reason that the notion of giving away the bride has not been a part of Swedish weddings since the 1600s, when the Swedish Church decided that weddings were no longer to be based on the contract used for transference of property.
In Sweden the bride and groom enter the church and come to the altar together to make their wedding vows.
Their parents are already seated and waiting for the ceremony to start. Especially now that so many couples are living together, the symbolism is appropriate. Many people don’t come from their parents’ houses any longer; instead, they come from their own. So it makes sense to come in together.
If you’re looking to include your parents in the ceremony, particularly if it feels as if they won’t understand why they don’t get to walk down the aisle with you, why not meet halfway down the aisle (Have the groom and his parents come from the front and the bride and her parents from the back. Meet, kiss, hugs all around, and then the bridal couple can precede the parents, who drop off at their seats.
It’s a lovely statement of equality that sets boundaries for the marriage into which you’re entering.
You’re creating this marriage together. Might as well lead the way. Take good care and step over the sill at the back of the church together, Swedish myth says whosever foot crosses first will lead the marriage. You want a marriage of equality. One, two, step together into happy and healthy ever after!
Bottom Line?: Give your relationship the chance it deserves to succeed wildly, against all odds! After all, you deserve it. Your relationship deserves it! There’s a lot more info to help you create the wedding ceremony of your dreams, the wedding vows of your heart and the marriage of a lifetime over on my website: http://annkeelerevans.org.
